Having a weak leg also throws my balance off. It is not uncommon for me to lose my balance and walk or fall into a wall. Its usually not as bad as it sounds, I promise. Over the years I have learned to land softly so I don't injure myself. I try to fall with grace.
I have a really hard time walking in the winter. My muscles stiffen when its cold (even if I get slightly cold, my whole left side will shut down, and its very difficult to move).
The range of motion in my left arm has improved a great deal. I can lift my arm straight up and hold it there for a good while (my shoulder muscles are still tight). I can at least hold my arm up, long enough to put my hair in a pony tail (for the record, trying to put your hair up, using only one hand does not work out very well).
My fingers on my left hand are still tight but not nearly as tight as they once were. I am able to use them for tasks such as tying my shoes and typing on my computer. The only difference now, vs. before the accident, it just takes me longer to complete these tasks.
Another serious issue I was facing, was double vision. I had double vision for about 8 months before I underwent "Strabismus" eye surgery (yeah, googling surgeries before you undergo them is not a good idea). I remember telling myself, if this surgery doesn't work, I am going to stab out one of my eyes (the scary part, I was dead serious). I was so tired of living my life in double. On top of that, the head aches were pretty horrendous. I remember the first thing I did when I first woke up, even before opening my eyes, I would say "God, please let my eyes be healed." At that time, I didn't really understand that our plans aren't always God's plan and his timing isn't always our timing.
When I did open my eyes, and realized that I still saw the world in double, I would automatically get mad at God. If he really was the creator of the universe, then why didn't he take away my pain? What did I do to make him so angry? These were the questions that continuously went through my head.
Due to the double vision, the question of whether or not I should start driving a rose. I thought I should drive but my husband (at the time) thought other wise. The difference of opinions led to resentment. The resentment I had towards my husband was a big part of our divorce. When it was all said and done, I started driving about a year and a half post accident.
Not being able to drive, increased my anxiety and depression. Due to my double vision, my independence was taken away. I felt like a little kid being driven around by friends or family (consisting of my sister in law and husband.
I thought my situation would never change. I felt like I would never be able to "live" again. Cabin fever set in real fast and in a hurry. I felt like the walls were caving in on me, like I was suffocating... very slowly. Due to these feelings, I had suicidal thoughts on many occasions. I felt that death had to be better than living in a nightmare, day after day (Well, I never went through with any of these thoughts. Instead, I did the exact opposite, I started going to church).
My neighbor and I were talking about church one night. Before I knew it, I grabbed a ride with her and started attending her church.
I always believed in God, but my faith (at that point) was not strong. Ironically, my friends church, was the same church, my dad had visited while he was staying with my husband (to help him out with our girls) while I was in the Coma (my dad stayed with my husband a little over a month).
My dad asked the church (which is my current church today) to pray for healing and bring me out of the Coma. Their prayers worked! Once I started to meet the church members, they felt like they already knew me.
Coma picture, after my lung collapsed
About a week after waking up from Coma
About 4 years after the Accident
I just wanted to add that the eye surgery went well. My double vision was pretty much corrected. The only times I still see double, is if I'm laying on my right side (that's an easy fix, I just turn over to my left side). Today, my vision is still slightly off. It's pretty much like I'm living in a fish bowl (but it's a heck of a lot better then seeing two of everything).
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